I Propose a Practical Joke?
by a-snow-induced-headache
Summary: Jack plays a practical joke on Sam… which turns into… a little more… COMPLETE


Title: I propose a … practical joke?

Author: Littlebluestring

Rating: U

Pairing: SJ

Summary: Jack plays a practical joke on Sam… which turns into… a little more… (just something I dreamt up when I was high on coca cola… seemed funny at the time…)

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Jack O'Neill waltzed into Daniel Jackson's office, where Daniel was hunched over something small and shiny, and Teal'c was sitting on a desk looking large and capable of giving someone a shiner.

"Hey kids. Whatcha doing?"

Daniel looked up from the object. "I'm just going over some stuff that SG12 brought back from P97 625."

Jack walked over to him and picked the object up. Daniel uttered a faint mew of protest, but knew it was hopeless.

Jack frowned. "Is this a wedding ring?"

"Yes, it er… it looks like it could be Aztec. It's really light and decorated with some kind of symbols… Actually it's probably more of an engagement ring." Daniel smiled.

"Nice. Anyway. About Carter's surprise birthday party. You got a song all chosen out?"

Sam Carter chose that opportune moment to walk in. "Song for what?"

Jack stopped in his tracks. He knew he had to think of something clever, fast… er… "For my erm… wedding."

Jack cursed himself silently. His _wedding_?

Daniel spluttered at the look on Sam's face. Jack really did choose his moments.

Sam quickly composed herself again. "Uh, sir… I had no idea you were getting married."

Teal'c decided that now was the time to come to Jack's rescue. Alternatively, he could make him squirm a bit… "Yes. Do you not recall O'Neill telling us about it at dinner yesterday?"

Jack put on a mock hurt face. "I'm surprised at you, Carter. I poured my heart out in front of you all, and you were probably thinking about worm. Holes. I've never been so insulted."

Daniel rolled his eyes. _All right Jack, don't over do it._ He decided to help out a bit. "Yeah, although Jack, you didn't actually describe the lady."

"The lucky lady." Jack corrected.

"Yeah… right. What does she look like?"

Jack silently cursed Daniel. The look on Sam's… _Carter's_… face had been priceless. She'd even looked a bit jealous for a sec. _Steady on Jack. Just cause she looks jealous for a few seconds does not mean she would ever…do what? Go out with you? Are you really gonna retire? Why the hell am I talking to myself?_

Teal'c looked at Jack with something bordering a smile on his lips. "O'Neill. What is the colour of her hair?"

Jack looked up in surprise. He pictured his dream woman. Damn. She was standing right in front of him, looking slightly bemused. "Er. Blonde. And it's short."

Sam raised her eyebrows. "What's her best asset? Body wise, I mean."

Jack smiled inwardly. Trust Sam to catch on. But this one was easy. Kinda. "Her ten zillion watt smile."

Daniel looked at Sam. What was Jack doing? "What are her eyes like?"

"Blue. Really deep blue. And they light up whenever she's figuring something out. I never told her how much I like them though."

He looked up from the ring, which he was fiddling with, to find eyes of that same description staring at them. "What does she do?"

"She's some kind of scientist. I still can't pronounce it." _This was getting easier… keep it vague Jack, keep it vague…_

"She's smart. I mean, in the mind boggling sense. But she's also pretty."

Daniel was laughing inside. Sam's face was a picture. He wished he had a camera. Oh wait. CCTV. Score!

"Is she one of those people who doesn't like doing outdoors stuff?"

Jack gave him a look. "Daniel, do you really think I'd date someone who doesn't like getting their hands dirty.

_They'd have to, to date you Jack. _Daniel thought to himself.

Sam had had enough of games. She wondered what exactly they were playing at. And she didn't really like the fact that Jack O'Neill was getting married. No. She really didn't like the fact that_her _Jack O'Neill was getting married.

"What's her name, sir?"

Jack had a moments panic. "What?"

"What's her name. Sir."

Daniel studied Jack's face. What could he possibly say to that? Making up names on the spot was definitely not something that the USAF trained people for.

Teal'c squirmed a bit. He hadn't meant to get O'Neill into trouble. Well. Not a lot of trouble. Sam was looking almost angry.

Suddenly, the rain clouds cleared for Jack. He knew exactly which name to say. "Samantha Carter."

Sam swallowed. That had not been what she expected him to say. And it brought every single dream she had ever had a lot a closer to home. Far too close for comfort.

Jack fingered the ring that he had taken off Daniel. Was he daring enough? _What are you waiting for O'Neill? Get on your knee (not the bad one) and say it._

Jack got down on his knee. Sam closed her eyes for a second. This was surreal. Daniel grinned. Wow. They were finally doing something. Then he frowned. Surely Jack wasn't going to propose to Sam using that ring?

"Samantha Carter. Would you… do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

He held out the ring. Daniel nearly fainted on the spot. Teal'c smiled a smile that he rarely had on. And Sam just stood there, looking down at the man that had just proposed to her. _This is insane. This is completely mad. This cannot be happening… it is happening and you might as well take advantage of it while you can!_

Sam Carter bent down and whispered in Jack's ear. "Will there be cake?"

Jack grabbed her head and kissed her. Daniel grinned. Teal'c grinned. AndGeneral Hammond, watching the CCTV footage on the monitoring screens, grinned like hell.

Jack looked up at the camera and waved. "I guess I'll be taking that job in Washington, George!"

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Like I said… it seemed funny at the time! I hope you enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing it… thanks for reading and please review. :P


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